How can it be you have spent a whole ten minutes staring at a banana?
Why do you always do stuff like that? Why do you never do the other really great things where it’s much, much better - and afterwards you don’t want to saw off your own face and post it back to yourself with not quite enough stamps?
Also, learn how to make breakfast not even knowing you are out of bed. Diagnose the mirror, reason with the mice and boil yoghurt blindfolded. Enjoy the fruits of hurtling cognitive decline and your neighbours sprawling ghastliness, absence of humanity and so, so much more.
These times have not been easy.
We Got This is the brand new show from BAFTA and Perrier award winning comedian Dylan Moran. It promises to be a joyously furious romp through the frustration and folly of modern day life.
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Want to be the first to hear about what's happening in Glasgow? Just hit 'Like' on our Facebook page, join the What's On Scotland Facebook Group and 'Follow' on our Twitter account and you're all set!Over 7 million people have lived to tell the tale of one of the most chilling and successful theatre events ever staged, make sure you're one of them when The Woman In Black returns to Glasgow!
READ MORELose yourself in the raw intensity of this sleek and unmissable ballet, Scottish Ballet's Swan Lake is returning to Scotland after its sell-out 2016 debut!
READ MOREDirect from Broadway, The Kite Runner, an outstanding and unforgettable theatrical tour de force is returning to the UK in 2024! Don't miss it at the Theatre Royal Glasgow in April!
READ MORESing and dance along with the Kidz Bop Kids as they perform today's biggest hits, live on stage at the Theatre Royal Glasgow on Sunday 14th April!
READ MOREThis beloved production, which began life at Scottish Opera in 2008, has been seen at opera houses around the world! Don't miss La Traviata when it returns to Glasgow in May!
READ MOREMatthew Bourne's magical dance production of the classic Tim Burton movie Edward Scissorhands is coming to the Theatre Royal Glasgow in May!
READ MOREFeaturing four fearless actors, playing 139 roles in 100 minutes of fast-paced fun and thrilling action don't miss Alfred Hitchcock's classic spy thriller, The 39 Steps at the Theatre Royal Glasgow!
READ MOREFollowing the huge success of the smash hit original play and exhausted from standing ovations night after night, Cluedo - the hilarious whodunit - is back on stage in 2024 with a New Chapter!
READ MOREWinner of five Olivier Awards, including Best Play, see the West End spectacle, Life Of Pi, on its first ever UK tour at the Theatre Royal Glasgow!
READ MOREThe world's premier show in celebration of 'The Velvet Voice' Luther Vandross comes to the Theatre Royal Glasgow on Sunday 30th June!
READ MOREDon't miss your chance to see this jackpot of a production! Book your winning tickets to Kay Mellor's The Syndicate at the Theatre Royal Glasgow in July!
READ MOREElvis Costello and Steve Nieve have announced a 15 date tour which will see them play selections from a songbook that is fifty years long and twice as deep!
READ MOREThe glamorous, gritty and outrageously fun brand-new musical based on the much-loved hit movie starring Christina Aguilera will have its Scottish premiere at the Theatre Royal Glasgow in September!
READ MOREDirect from a record-breaking four-year sold-out run-in London's West End, Only Fools & Horses The Musical is coming to Glasgow... only a 42 carat plonker would miss it!
READ MOREExperience Disney's spectacular Broadway and West End musical Aladdin on its UK and Ireland Tour, flying in on a magic carpet to the Theatre Royal Glasgow in November 2024!
READ MOREScottish Ballet's much-loved production of The Nutcracker returns! Catch it at the Theatre Royal Glasgow in December 2024!
READ MOREHeld on the second and fourth Wednesday each month at Jimmy's at the Park Bar, The Joke Gym is where top comedians try out their new material... you'll have first laugh!
READ MOREGlee Club Glasgow's Friday Night Comedy is the perfect way to end the working week! Four superb stand-up comedians and a great range of tasty food offerings!
READ MORETreat yourself to an evening of award-winning comedy at Glee Club Glasgow, featuring four superb stand-up comedians that will keep you laughing until Monday!
READ MOREJosie Long brings some new and exciting material, hopefully some of which is about charismatic megafauna, to The Stand Glasgow!
READ MOREJoin regular host Fearghas Kelly as he presents some of the country's best acts in this exciting new multimedia comedy night at The Stand Glasgow!
READ MOREDrag-Opticon is the monthly live drag show at the Britannia Panopticon which showcases the best of the Glasgow Drag scene!
READ MORELet your hair down at the end of the week with fabulous Friday fun at The Stand Comedy Club Glasgow!
READ MORECatch a phenomenal night of comedy with a dazzling array of acts including comedy singers who get the crowd involved and a well-known headliner at the Britannia Panopticon!
READ MOREThe Glasgow Stand's fabulous flagship Saturday show has been sold out every week for the past five years!
READ MOREGo Radio | Number 1 for Glasgow & The West - Listen on DAB, Online or on your Smart Speaker, just say "Launch Go Radio"